It's Been a New York Minute

I did it. Right? That’s what I can say. I did it. I took that leap of faith and moved to NYC. The greatest city in the world. People come from all over with their dreams in hand and their foot fully pressed down on the gas. You excel forward at a 100 mph; then your car does that weird puff nose and comes to a complete halt. You look at the dashboard with that little tiny arrow pointing at E. YIKES! You’re looking out of your window with a 9-11 dial tone in your eyes and questions buzzing through your head: “How could I be so stupid to not check and see if I needed gas. Did I even stop to pee? Well, I guess not cause my water bottle isn’t open.”. The conclusion comes down to: you never stopped for gas or to refuel and you are currently stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing in site.

Now what? You got so caught up in the speed of things you never took that moment to reevaluate where the hell you were, what you were doing and what your purpose for moving to NYC was in the first place. So yeah, its been a New York minute. I’m caught in the hustle and bustle. The constant need to be doing SOMETHING. God, I laugh at that phrase. SOMETHING! Does anyone even have a clue as to what that something is?! (please leave me a comment if you do) It’s that anxious feeling of not going out. Having all that fomo when you’re roommates are out at a cool concert and you’re volunteering for free yoga. Woo it’s all those feelings, but oddly enough, your dream is still tapping on that gas pedal hoping you’ll give her a second chance. Hoping you’ll realize to slow down, stop for gas, but also enjoy the road trip.

That’s where I’m at. I’ve hit my New York minute of reevaluation. I did it right? I got out of my parents, but I got so caught in the fear mind set of not having money for rent. Not having groceries. Fomo of missing bar nights, that I am completely wiped out. However, this halt has brought alive my dream again & quite frankly, it brought about a new one I was too scared to realize because (cough cough) I didn’t think I was good enough. This halt has brought about the realization that I don’t give a (bleep) about others anymore or about dead end jobs. I DO NOT want to live like a caged bird or in fear of not enough. I just want to live for me. So, time to find the gas station.

xoxo,

Nicole